There are many reasons in life to cry. Some are happy. Some are sad. And some are directly connected to department store dressing rooms. You choose the outfit. Oh so cute. You take it to the dressing room with high hopes. And. Then. You put it on. That's when it hits. The tears and the statement, "I'm never going to eat again!" At the time you seriously mean that comment. You hate what you see and you want it gone. You beat yourself up for all the bad choices that you have made. You swear to lose 10, 20, or 100 pounds. You will live on salad and water and eat ice cubes for snacks. You will come one day and put on an outfit and it will look good on you. So with red puffy eyes you return the outfit to the "no takers" rack and leave the store. You go somberly along your way in the mall. And. Then. You pass the cinnamon roll shop, or the ice cream shop, or the fudge shop, and your brain says, "OK, kid, you can start tomorrow. Have that treat and make yourself feel better." And you do. The tears are gone for now. But you are determined that tomorrow you will succeed.

You lost a battle but later that night when you go to bed your mind spins with what you can do to lose weight. You plan a healthy breakfast and plan a packed lunch. It is going to work this time. And. Then. You wake up late. No time for breakfast. Oh, well, less calories. Packed lunch? Not going to happen. OK, so you will pick up a salad at lunchtime. So you head off for your day determined to succeed.  By ten o'clock you are so incredibly hungry that you have to have something. You head to a vending machine and buy a sensible pack of granola bars. Well, not totally what you wanted, but, hey, it's better than a Snickers bar. Lunchtime comes. You head out to buy that salad and along the way you smell the grilled hamburgers. Well, I could have a hamburger now and eat a salad for dinner. Yeah, that's the ticket. You pull up to order. Do you want fries with that? Well, it is cheaper with fries. I won't eat them or just eat a few. So you answer. "sure." Do you want to supersize that? Well, I am really thirsty and the big drink would great.So you answer, "yes." And. Then. You pull away from the window and reach in for a fry. And reach in for a fry. And reach in for a fry. And pretty soon, the fries are gone. So you think to yourself that the hamburger must be eaten before anyone sees you with a large drink and a sandwich because they will know you ate a large fries. So, you eat the hamburger as you drive, wiping grease from the steering wheel. When you walk into work you now have only a large iced tea. So you pretend that you didn't have time for lunch. But you did. 

Later it is time to go home. When you arrive home you start dinner. You look at the salad ingredients in your fridge and it looks unappetizing. What the heck? You've blown it all day today so you fix yourself a pot of spaghetti or even order a pizza. Tomorrow you will do better. But you fall asleep before you had time to plan a breakfast or pack a lunch. And. Then. Tomorrow comes. And. Then. You fail again. After so many fails, you quit trying until the next time you try on clothes and cry in the dressing room. Then you start this whole vicious cycle over again. 

Somewhere, sometime this cycle has to stop. It can stop with death or it can stop with a little planning and preparation. Make yourself a priority in your life. (Truthfully, I have always had difficulty with that.) Start with what you can do. Watch one less t.v. program and pack lunch for a week. Get up 15 minutes earlier and eat a good, healthy breakfast. Invest in containers to prepackage your meals. Count what you eat. Journaling is not a job it is as opportunity to know what you have done right (repeat it) and what you have done wrong (stop it). Make yourself a priority. You are not selfish, you are important. Your health directly affects the people that you love. Show them you care enough to want to be around to see their future. You may always cry in the dressing room because body image is difficult to change, but that is better than having others cry at your funeral. You may never be a fashion model, but you can be a model for a good healthy lifestyle. Go. Do it!