Thongs, Boy Shorts, and Granny Panties

Life comes in stages. We know this. We accept this. Yet we long for things that are just beyond our grasp. This is often called human nature, but I feel that it is more "woman nature". As little girls we are bombarded by images that we strive to attain. For most of us that image is always out of our reach. We are told by society that we are to be tall, thin, and usually with long, flowing (blonde) hair. We should not have stretch marks or skin tags. Our breasts should always be perky and our legs should always be shaved. (One advantage to being single and always wearing jeans is that you never have to shave your legs. No one sees them.) Men do not live by these rules. If they don't shave they are "ruggedly handsome." Weight? Look how many tv shows feature chunky men with stunningly beautiful, thin wives. This is never portrayed the other way around. Still here we are, decades after the Woman's Liberation Movement, trying to reach these unattainable goals. In my mind women live through three distinct stages in life. I like to think of these stages as The Thong Stage, The Boy Shorts Stage, and The Granny Pantie Stage. 

During The Thong Stage we are young and firm. We wear thongs and bikini underwear and criticize our bodies for what we see. "My butt is too big. My hips are too wide. My chest is too small." We wear bikinis on the beach, then wrap our arms around our waists because we are worried about the crinkle in our stomachs when we sit. We may play and have fun, but we secretly worry over not being picture perfect. We fail to realize that our image of perfection comes from unattainable ideals of above average height, underweight, airbrushed models who are heavily made up and posed for perfection. We are young and we are insecure.

As we grow up we progress to The Boy Shorts Stage. In this stage we are fighting the fight to stay young. We may not feel comfortable in thongs and bikinis anymore but we will not wear "old lady" underwear yet. We choose boy shorts. They provide us comfort but yet are still a little sexy. We fight to keep our husbands interested in us when they are barraged with images of Victoria's Secret models. We hold together families and hold down jobs. We rush and we work and we try to keep it all together. We still do not like our bodies, but we have learned to live with the imperfections. Those of us who haven't mastered that skill have plastic surgery and botox injections. We are adults and we are insecure but resigned to that insecurity.

Then one day it hits us! The what-in-the-heck-am-I-trying-to-please-everybody-else realization. This is The Granny Pantie Stage. We are growing wiser. We are aging like fine wines. We are ready. Ready to embrace the "I want" time of our lives and if that time of our life includes big, white, cotton granny panties, then so be it! If you don't like it, don't look at my underwear! We are still insecure, but we cover up those insecurities by being outspoken. If no one has listened to us for 50 plus years, we have earned the right to say what we choose and wear big, white, cotton, granny panties. 

So today I am hear to say, "I'm fluffy and I know it. I'm trying to get healthy. I'm going to get fit. And, by golly, I choose to wear granny panties." Figuratively or literally, put on your big girl panties (whatever type they are) and realize that your beauty is more than the skin you are in and the panties you wear, it is the soul that sparkles in your eyes and the bubbles that flow from your laughter. Embrace your beauty. (And wear whatever type panties YOU choose.)